Thursday, November 19, 2009

TOP 10 TRADITIONS I WOULD LIKE TO ESTABLISH WITH MY KID.


1. Macy's parade balloons the night before everyone sees them.
2. French toast and berries on Christmas morning.
3. Her buying a small christmas gift to someone in need...from her piggy bank.
4. Reading to each other out loud.
5. Saturday cartoons while I cook HUGE family breakfast.
6. Always staying up past 12 on New Years Eve.
7. Saying a blessing before dinner.
8. Sleeping in the tent in the backyard at least once a summer no matter how old she gets.
9. Visiting her family and knowing them well.
10. Bedtime stories that only two of us will know.

so many more to come...

Monday, November 16, 2009

TOP 10 THINGS THAT ANNOY ME.



This entry is an open invitation to anyone from Pixar Animation to come for a drink to my house at anytime that they desire. You see, I saw "Up" this weekend and the pleasure of returning to my childhood for spectacular 90 minutes of brilliant story telling was priceless. Drink is the least that I can do. I can't wait to see my daughter's eyes light "Up" when she sees this masterpiece in the years to come. Thank you Pixar and in the honor of the main grouchy character of the film here is... "top 10 things that annoy me".

1. Commercials with people who are overly excited about their cleaning products or the general idea of "cleaning".
2. Women who ask "How old do you think I am?"
3. New Yorkers who eat fried Chicken or anything that has a bone in it on a subway.
4. Any piece of written word that ends in "xoxo".
5. Men who wear gold jewelry of any kind with an exception of a wedding band.
6. People who snap their fingers at waiters and/or tip below 20%.
7. Itchy clothing labels.
8. Conversations about weather.
9. Lipstick on the white coffee mug at a diner. Extra annoyance points if it's not mine and 1980s "pink".
10. Mariah Carey.


P.S. I apologize to both of my readers for not writing for a while. If you would like to protest my silence and tell me to get off my ass and write more often...feel free to do so for it will inspire me greatly.:)

Monday, November 2, 2009

TOP 10 THINGS I DREAM ABOUT.



My morning started by waking up to a funny smell and a "pleasant" discovery of slimy dog diarrhea dragged all over my house by a crazy and senile cocker spaniel's paws. Beating the clock, half naked and blind without contacts I proceeded to step in some of it and then neurotically cleaning everything, while intensely gagging at the same time. Just before I contemplated of setting my house on fire, my daughter woke up in the mood to match the diarrhea in the plastic, tied up bag. She also felt the need to announce it to the whole entire block with the screams that can only be described as "heart wrenching" . Dishes, breakfast, finding matching socks, 35 teary "Good byes" at the door, husband with the "burning eyes and throat"...I am off to work. Subway...15 minutes late, but I got a seat only to realize too late that the sticky wet mass on it was exactly the reason WHY it was empty in the first place. At 9:52am, sliding pass my boss 20 minutes late...I spent the rest of the day daydreaming about below.


1. Once a month dropping my daughter off with "Mary Poppins like" relative and then picking her up at noon the next day. Sleeping in past 8am.

2. In the morning, leisurely having my coffee in a sitting down position instead of standing and constantly holding it above my head while being attacked by a cute toddler monster.

3. Getting my haircut, feet massaged, gray roots colored...and any other service that makes me feel somewhat like a woman.

4. Watching something that doesn't teach me how to count.

5. Just once making it to work on time.

6. Having crisp clean sheets like people in "my kid is jumping on our bed while I am making pancakes in silk PJs" commercials. You know the ones without baby fluids and diaper cream stains.

7. After getting those magical sheets, creating "closed bedroom door policy" forever.

8. Having a cleaning lady who will also cook for us just for fun.

9. Getting my sticking out stomach to switch places with my completely flat boobs.

10. And of course...world peace.