TOP 10 THINGS I HATE HEARING MOTHERS SAY TO ME AT THE PLAYGROUND.

1. "It's cute how your daughter bangs her head against the wall like that"

2. "We don't have a TV"

3. "Her hair will grow...I think...eventually"

4. "I don't have to ever work" then 2 minutes later

5. "Where is that nanny?"

6. "Is that your husband? He is cute."

7. "My daughter walked when she was 5 months old... up the hill, in the snow."

8. "I wish I was as carefree as you. I am so obsessed with always watching my kid."

9. "We are having a princess party..."

10. "Your little boy (I have a daughter) should be in pageants"

TOP 10 WAYS I ALREADY F***ED UP AS MOTHER (my daughter is only 9 months old)

1. All I heard was...BOOM!

2. Sleep training - on, sleep training - off, sleep training - on.

3. Baby "Tylenol"...just to finish watching "Lost". Did you SEE Sawyer?

4. Diaper backwards - check!

5. Let her discover the texture of sand, dog's hair balls and garbage can.

6. Cried in sheer frustration of complete loss of control at 4am, 7am, 12pm, 3pm...

7. Cereal in the bottle. People really feed that with a spoon?

8. Went from page 3 to page 7 while reading her a book. She doesn't know.

9. Put her in daycare for a day just to "reintroduce" myself to my husband.

10. Made her completely gender confused by despising pink and everything "princess" like.:)