Monday, April 12, 2010
TOP 10 WAYS TO RECOGNIZE THE WORST TANTRUM OF YOUR LIFE.
1. You attempt to pad the "tantrum space" psychiatric asylum style.
2. You want to scratch that stranger's face who in fake concerned voice asks "What is wrong with her?"
3. You want to double scratch the face of that flat stomached, freshly out of the spa, 20 something bitch that rolls her eyes.
4. You mentally go through "selling your child on a black market" options.
5. You can't believe ALL of this is happening because you said "no" to her wanting to eat dog poop off the street.
6. You think to yourself "I should of just let her eat the damn poop".
7. You search for matches in your pocket, preparing to burn every book that ever advised you to "Just stay calm".
8. When you pick her up so she will not get hit by an upcoming truck, you squeeze a little bit harder than child services would recommend.
9. You feel like you are losing your mind completely, when 12 minutes later she simply gets up, smiles and points to a flying by seagull.
10. You come home, lock yourself in the bathroom and have a nice cry until she comes over and hugs your knees, making you...well...forget everything.