1. Macy's parade balloons the night before everyone sees them.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
1. Macy's parade balloons the night before everyone sees them.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
1. How much you long to feel pretty again.
2. Just how much sex you are NOT having after the birth of the baby.
3. Your kid still wakes up at 3am...and he is 5.
4. You hate that everyone ONLY asks you about "the baby".
5. There are moments you do not like your kid at all.
6. You secretly wish she will inherit some of your personality traits and not your husband's.
7. You regret not waiting longer to have a kid.
8. You don't give rat's ass about effects of TV on your child as long as it gives you some peace and quite.
9. When you watch devastating commercials of kids with cancer, you think to yourself "Thank God my kid is healthy".
10. You secretly compare your kid to others and your body to every other mother's at the playground.
Monday, October 26, 2009
1. Universal Health Care
Please don't call me a "socialist", because believe me as a Russian citizen I KNOW what that means. All I am asking for is that on top of the beautiful choices this country provides, there should be a simple guarantee that no one will need to choose between getting their family in debt or DYING. It's a simple human right.
2. More disease prevention services.
Government sponsored programs that teach prevention, provide free mammograms and other medical screenings.
3. 1 year of maternity leave.
It's truly insane to have a need to choose whether you should go back to work after 12 weeks or sacrifice your hard won career to stay home.
4. Cheap or free daycare.
Do I pay for daycare, which is almost the cost of my paycheck or do I stay home and clip coupons, while my husband has small heart attacks from all the pressure of bringing home the money.
5. Assigned "on call" nurse for the first 3 months of a baby's life.
Not all of us are lucky to have our parents come and help us in those trying times. You are exhausted, sleep deprived and still in shock from labor. It would be nice to be able to call someone for help if only for an hour.
6. 40 hour work week.
I am lucky to have that, but I see a lot of people who get offered a certain salary and then added "but there is a lot of overtime". We live in a time when you feel guilty leaving the office to be with your family ON TIME.
7. OPTION of free higher education.
It's not a good start of your professional young life when you get out of college already with a huge debt or worse, join the army risking your life so you have a chance at a brighter future for free.
8. Required internship programs.
If you ARE paying thousands to get that degree, there should be a way to find out exactly what that job in theory looks like in reality.
9. Travel abroad.
80% of Americans do not have a passport. Enough said.
10. Consume less, enjoy life more.
I would like to also mention that people in Denmark pay 50% of their salary in taxes but after getting everything above plus 4 years of unemployment at 90% of your salary....ask me if I care.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
1. It's hard to notice any discipline flaws through the cloud of smoke and haze of alcohol.
2. "Parent conference" takes place in bed, while you are banging the teacher.
3. "Staying at home mom" has a new ring to it when someone else is watching your kids, cleaning your house and making your meals.
4. Communication with your kids is limited to "Go play".
5. Positive reinforcement takes effect when you get your daddy's martini right.
6. It's hard to disobey your mom when she goes outside with a rifle and shoots for the fun of it.
7. The kids are REALLY calm and relaxed since their mom smoked and drank 90% of her pregnancy.
8. Parenting is more fun when you leave your wife for the woman your daughter's age.
9. Milestones are irrelevant since neither of the parents know how old the kids are, where the school is or how to get there.
10. Quality time with your daughter is spent installing night light in her room so you will not have to be disturbed by her frightened crying.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
6 1/2. I just had to google "einstein" to see how to spell it.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
1. Speak French.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
I've always been very sensitive to aggression. It doesn't matter if it's a bar fight or a boxing match, I look in horror and almost always cry afterwards. Not because I am scared, but because someone is getting hurt. Recently, photographers caught Liv Tyler getting in a fight with a woman at the playground. Apparently, the woman was smacking a toddler and screaming at him. I started to think how many times I wanted to say something, but felt like it was not my place. So here are things that piss me off...just in case I didn't say it to your face.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
1. They slept a lot and late. I got to wake THEM up and then relax on the bed for hours of parenting bliss.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
1. Pick a hobby. Get passionate about it. Figure out how to make money with it.
2. Intern. It will give you experience and feel of the company.
3. NEVER complain about your work load. Nobody cares. People just want their shit done.
4. Be nice to all the assistants, mail room staff, IT guys and receptionists. They know everything and will help you if needed. Buy them lunch..and often.:)
5. Don't sleep with your co-workers...unless you are directing Johnny Depp movie.
6. Don't discuss your personal life. The less people know about you, the more intimidating you are appear to be.
7. Don't kiss your boss's ass. It's uncomfortable for both of you. Just do you job ridiculously well.
8. Ask for a raise...if you deserve it. Always have plan B just in case.
9. Educate yourself constantly in your field. Attend seminars, classes and read as much as you can.
10. Contacts. Use them and return every phone call you receive.
10 1/2. If all fails... go on reality show, make tons of money and retire.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
1. He never made fun of me for screaming in bloody murder at night terrorised by my imagination. Instead, he calmly checked every corner of my room for 3 headed monsters.
2. He taught me how to appreciate jazz and didn't kill me when I decided to use his priceless record collection as a sliding floor toy.
3. He has unspeakable warm light in his eyes. The same light that I find in my husband's eyes.
4. He confesses love for my mother daily and makes me nausiated with his talks of her "hotness". Once he promised me that he will drink himself to death if anything ever happened to her. He is so dramatically Russian.
5. When I left for America, he kept photo album of my pictures under his pillow and looked at them nightly to wish me good night..
6. He is never afraid to cry if he is moved by something.
7. He repeatedly makes a complete ass out of himself just to hear me crack up.
8. He makes the best steak that I have ever tasted.
9. He invented a phrase "There are no ugly women. There are just men without imagination". Sadly, he often said it to me.:)
10. He wears suspenders and misses two front teeth.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
TOP 10 THINGS THAT SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME SINCE I GOT PREGNANT THAT (THANK GOD!) TURNED OUT TO BE OK.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
1. School shootings were unheard of.
2. The highest I got was...holding my breath on a dare.
3. Soviet TV had no commercials, therefore I didn't REALLY want anything.
4. Boys carried my books instead of trying to have sex with me at 13.
5. No myspace, twitter or online preditors.
6. Boys wrestled with each other, instead of pulling guns or knifes out.
7. Toy stores were empty but my imagination had no limits.
8. No Britney Spears or Hannah Montanas.
9. We all wore school uniforms and didn't know what "designer" meant.
10. We wrote love notes, instead of being "poked" on facebook.