I am yet to find a resume that states "Walked before 10 months old".
2. Not finishing every last bite on her plate.
If I lived by kid's rule "Finished when full", that bikini might still fit.
3. Not sending her to fancy shmansy $20.000 a year kindergarden.
How do you say "I pooped" in Latin? Who cares.
4. That 17 year old babysitter with extra perky everything.
If "John and Kate plus 8" taught us anything...he will leave if he wants to leave. There is nothing you can do about it.
5. Letting dirty laundry mix in with clean and sit there while I sip my wine.
Four nights in the same PJs. I call it "comfort".
6. Not having a huge, overpriced birthday for my 1 year old.
It just freaks them out. Period.
7. Spending Thanksgiving or Christmas with my little family of three.
Those family traditions have to start somewhere.
8. That woman at the playground that asked me if I was pregnant.
You are a bitch. I hate you.
9. Not giving her a little sister or a brother.
That is what imaginary friends are for.
10. Her STILL waking up in the middle of the night.
One day, very soon, she will beg me to sleep in "just 5 more minutes".
P.S. T-shirt in the picture and many others smart ass onesies are from http://www.honestbaby.com/tshirts.php
This blog entry is not to be reproduced without permission.