1. They slept a lot and late. I got to wake THEM up and then relax on the bed for hours of parenting bliss.
2. They slept in their cribs OF COURSE. Where else?
3. They cooed.
4. They had teeth from the second they came out.
5. They sat and played quietly while I read a world history book.
6. They stared lovenly into my eyes as we both rocked in a hammock for hours.
7. They talked full sentences around 6 months.
8. They stayed in restricted safe area without any problems.
9. They never threw tantrums. Only spoiled kids with bad parents do that.
10. They let me have perfect hair, SKIRT and manicured nails, like moms in diaper commercials do.