Monday, September 28, 2009


1. How much they crave my affection and still need to hear that I need them.
2. How much it hurt when I screamed "I wish I was never born" at a "I know it all" age of 14.
3. How hard it was to say "ok" when I decided to live abroad.
4. Why they always assumed the worst when I didn't call for a couple of weeks.
5. Why my husband will never be quite good enough no matter how much they love him.
6. Why my mother couldn't sleep sometimes simply "worrying".
7. How heartbroken they were when they missed my wedding and the birth of their granddaughter.
8. Why they keep my room just the way I left it...18 years ago.
9. Why my mother gets jealous of mine and dad's "bond".
10. How vulnerable the last 36 years have been for them.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


A year ago my daughter was 2 months old. She was never a tender, cooing baby and I was never a picture perfect doting mother. We were both exhausted, foreign to each other and wondering when will this babyhood insanity will stop for both of us. Around that time I saw a dad on a street who had 14 month old twins. We talked briefly and I remember asking him "When will I feel better, I mean... much better?". He answered "After about a year". In horror, his words lingered in my mind. At that point my life was on hour to hour basis. I simply couldn't imagine even making it through a year, forget enjoying anything after. Well, here I am, I survived to write about it. So, for all the mothers, who are crying in the shower, exhausted, sore and sleep-deprived a few months after 10 differences a year make.

1. They sleep. Forget 5 hour definition of "sleeping through the night" created obviously by a non parent. Majority sleep 11-12 hours STRAIGHT.

2. After a year you will "know" your kid, following their signs like a well studied map. No longer will you need to watch Oprah to identify your baby's cry. They will show you what hurts and what do they want.

3. They eat like humans and I strongly believe that if you don't give them more than 2 choices at one meal (if that), they will learn to eat anything you give them. If the sweetest thing they ever have is an apple, an apple would become a treat to them.

4. They walk. I heard people tell me "Enjoy this stage, because once they walk...". Are you kidding me? I love this "walking thing". No longer do I have to bend over like a human pretzel while holding both of her hands... or watch her get sad following running kids on the playground with her eyes, instead of playing with them... or panic about what to do with her, when I am struggling to open my apartment door.

5. They have enough attention span to watch a cartoon or read a book or simply entertain themselves for an hour. And just you wait until the day that she will bring you a book and then climb into your lap. Your heart will simply melt.

6. They follow simple directions. Only a few more months until "Go get mommy a bottle of wine from the corner store.":)

6.5. Speaking of wine. You start having it again... over dinner, with your husband, with your friends. Then you look in the mirror and start recognizing that woman that you once were with clear laughing eyes, beautiful smile and matching shoes.

7. They have personality and it's nothing that you might expect. While my daughter already has my dry sense of humor by laughing at the dog bumping her head on the wall, she also puts scarfs around her neck to play "princess" (something that truly horrifies me).

8. You are undeniably and enthusiastically their favorite person EVER and they let you know that constantly by hiding behind your legs or squeaking in delight every time you enter a room.

9. They hug in the purest, most sincere way and believe me, you will know the difference between requested hug and the hug they give you just because.

10. They make you want to have another one, something that you swore you will never do again.

Friday, September 18, 2009


1. All these 500 "She needs it!" jackets you bought her in the summer months.
2. Little, tiny rain boots.
3. Halloween candy for you.
4. Photographs with fallen leaves on the ground and your kid, wearing her 36th fall jacket and those little, tiny rain boots.
5. Red wine when it's 55 degrees outside.
6. Empty playgrounds.
7. My husband, big cloud like blanket and new fall reality show line up.
8. Scarfs and perfume...all kinds and every day.
9. Clothes that I can breath out in...until spring.
10. Rain - natural baby soother.

Friday, September 11, 2009


1. The first 10 minutes are always the best, because no matter who you are, you watch in horror and think to yourself "Thank God, these are NOT my kids", "Thank God I never had kids" or "Do they have death penalty in that state just in case I accidently kill those kids?"

2. 15 minutes into the show you are crying like a baby with their mother, who looks like she hasn't showered or looked in the mirror since the last one was conceived.

3. My strong opinion is that kids quiet down and listen to Joe (I can't believe I know her name), because they have no idea what she is actually saying and it's like trying to break a secret pirate's code for them, for which you have to be very, very quiet.

4. I love little cute charts Joe creates, but I always wonder how a mother who hasn't had time to pee in the last 3 years will find the time to create those in 167 different colors.

5. You really understand the term "outnumbered" when 2 parents try to chase down 3 kids over and over again to CARRY them to bed. Like a dying seagull, they desperately spread their arms in attempt of covering much needed territory and catching at least one followed shortly by falling flat on their face.

6. Memo to my growing up daughter who is reading this top 10 list - if you ever say "you are a bitch" to me, you will be send to live with your distant relatives in Siberia...and there will be no second or first warning.

7. I don't think there is anything more frustrating in this world than a kid sliding out of your arms like an oiled up noodle while screaming on top of their lungs and kicking you at the same time.

8. I wonder if she ever uses the term "naughty chair" outside the show. Ew, no, I really don't.

9. I love parents who announce on the show that they are pregnant...again. People, you are on "Supernanny" show. It's time to take a break and figure out the first 6 kids you had back to back. It's like announcing on Jerry Springer show that you are moving deeper in the mountains of Kentucky. And when do you have time to have sex anyways?

10. Something tells me I will be on that show one day.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


I encountered something this weekend that made my chest swell up with pride and eyes - with tears. At 13 months, as expected, my girl is not talking yet at all, she just started walking, she might be behind of some overachieving toddlers, whose mothers claim that they speak in full sentences and run marathons... and I don't really care. All this other stuff will come, but one thing that makes me already proud, is that my silly girl is KIND. I took her to the playground and since she can't move as fast as her much older peers, she is often left behind, so she started to pick up toys from underneath her stroller and giving them out. She would literally walk to a random kid and give him/her her toy. It broke my heart watching her do that. She sincerely wanted them to have it and maybe play with her too. I know there will come a day when she will scream "Mine!" but for now I love her for her innocent and complete kindness. So, I started thinking about qualities that matter to me in life that I would love for her to have. Here they are:
1. Kindness.
2. Sense of humor.
3. Eagerness to learn.
4. Great work ethic.
5. Humbleness.
6. Respect.
7. Good sense of timing.
8. Appreciation of what you have.
9. Uniqueness.
10. Child like silliness.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


1. "I am the map..."
2. "I love you, you love me..." 
3. "The wheels on the bus"
4. "99 bottles..." 
5. "It's small world after all". 
6. "If you happy and you know it"
7. "The sun will come out...tomorrow"
8. "mmm bop" 
9. "The chicken dance". 
10. "I am a little tea pot".