TOP 10 THINGS THAT PARENTING MAGAZINES SUGGEST THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE TO ME (there goes my dream job of writing for one of them:))

1. "Make sure that you develop interests and hobbies outside of being a parent"

2. "Get at least 8 hours of sleep every night"

3. "To feel better, get some kind of exercise every day"

4. "Find time to be romantic with your husband"

5. "You can purchase this beautiful onesie for ONLY $78"

6. "When you are with your kid all day, make sure that TV is NOT playing in the background"

7. "Here is an easy way to apply 764 make up tips"

8. "To give your hair volume ALL you have to do is...wash it, divide it into sections, blow dry it, set it in hot rollers and then finish it by teasing your hair and spraying it"

9. "Sleep when your baby sleeps". Well, that would be NEVER.

10. "Love your naked body". Forget "loving it". I am still trying to not cry when I look in the mirror before my weekly shower.

TOP 10 THINGS I HOPE MY DAUGHTER WILL EXPERIENCE WHEN SHE GROWS UP.

1. Love...even if it breaks her heart.

2. Being moved to tears from music.

3. Spending a prolonged period of time abroad, lost and then embraced by language and culture

4. Having a kid...when and if she is ready.

5. Having someone tell her "You changed my life".

6. Being poor, but happy.

7. Staying up till morning, talking to someone...maybe even me, if I am lucky:)

8. Marrying a man like her father.

9. Being upset by someone's unfairness or cruelty and then doing something about it.

10. Forgetting umbrella.

TOP 10 THINGS NOONE SHOULD TELL A NEW MOTHER.

1. "When are you due?"
2. " My baby was sleeping all night every night from birth."
3. "She needs a hat"
4. "Who is the father?"
5. "I lost all my pregnancy weight 2 hours after delivery and my boobs stayed huge. So weird"
6. "Make sure that you get some rest"
7. "You should be breastfeeding'
8. "You will never sleep again"
9. "It will only get more difficult"
10. "You used to be so much fun"

TOP 10 THINGS I CAME TO REALIZE DURING THE FIRST 6 WEEKS.

1. Just because your baby sleeps 18 hours a day, doesn't mean you are.
2. Your body doesn't feel like your own. It leaks, it aches and let's you down.
3. Your kid's smell will become addictive, similar to heroin.
4. You will cry a lot. Happy, sad, overwhelmed...just cry.
5. At least once (sometimes once a day), you will want to return your kid back to the hospital.
6. When your baby cries, your mind literally shuts down and you can't think straight. You just feel.
7. When your kid falls asleep on your chest, you will know why you are doing all this...and then you will cry again.:)
8. Your childess friends will not quite get it, but will be there for you nevertherless.
9. You will try ANYTHING to make your kid smile for the first time.
10. It will get better. Much, much better.

TOP 10 THINGS I FOUND OUT ABOUT GIVING BIRTH.

1. There will be 527457 times that you will think that you are in a labor.

2. There is only once that you will KNOW that you are.

3. The pain doesn't really compare to anything, because you have never done anything like this before.

4. You will forget the pain.

5. You will want to change your child's name to "epidural" after getting one.

6. Modesty will be the last thing on your mind.

7. The baby is not the only thing that will come out of you. Other "things" will keep on coming.

8. Pushing makes you feel powerful and finally in some kind of control of the situation.

9. You will never feel so vulnerable and unexplainable as the first time you see, feel, hear your kid.

10. You will never see anything so beautiful in your life.

TOP 10 TRUTHS ABOUT BEING PREGNANT.

1. Morning sickness lasts all day and all night and makes you want to climb walls.
2. You might lie about your due date just a little bit, so you might appear a little smaller than what you are.
3. The thought that you have a full blown human in your stomach will amaze you, endear you and terrify you depending on the moment.
4. You will leak from everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE.
5. You will love your full body pillow at night way more than you do your husband.
6. You will count days till your sonograms and afterward will spend hours studying what to other people looks like "shadows".
7. Your baby's hiccups will bring you to tears because you will know exactly where he or she is at that very moment and exactly what they are doing.
8. You will look with amazement between your legs (as much as you can look) and think about labor "There is just no way..."
9. You will envy a non pregnant woman at least once during your pregnancy: either for her tiny, well pronounced waist or that delicious glass of wine she will hold in her hand.
10. You will smear dog poop on your stomach if only it will guarantee no stretch marks in the end.