Monday, August 31, 2009

TOP 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT BABY PAGEANTS.


As an act of self mutilation, I watched an episode of "Toddlers and Tiaras" on "Estrogen" Network. The ugliness of it all haunted me ever since. So, lets unleash my hatred, shall we?:)


1. There is something borderline sexually abusive about a 3 year old wearing a tiny bikini and shaking her hips on a fake tan body. Isn't that what we did on a spring break in our 20s to get WRONG guys SEXUALLY attracted to us?

2. Parents leading in a group prayer before their child takes the stage, I have news for you. You just took a perfect God's creation and decorated it to your liking like a cheesy Barbie doll. I am sure God has more important things to do than reward your child with a 16 foot trophy for screwing up with his genius work. 

3. Why do you make your daughter walk like this? It's like a half walk, half hop with a perfect 20 degree shoulder rotation. Am I not getting it? Should I be walking like this?

4. Look around you parents. No one comes to these stupid events but you, your immediate, brain washed family and a couple of suspicious looking guys with oversized coats on their laps. Who are you trying to impress?

5. Let's do the math. Dress - $1000. Coaching - $60 a session. Dance lessons - $60 a session. Photoshoot - $500. Hotel, travel, FAKE TEETH, sugar packets, wigs and fake eyelashes - $2764.00. Prize for the first place - $5000. Don't tell me you doing this to save money for her college, because it just does not add up.

6. You know all those beauty products we spend a fortune on? They all promise us "baby smooth skin". So why are you caking your perfect daughter's face with foundation, concealers, powders and clown like blush?

7. The most beautiful thing about a child is her innocence, imagination and her ability to look at the world in a CHILD like way. When you are dressing your daughter in a leather cop uniform with attached HANDCUFFS and make her imitate arrest...you are robbing her of all three.

8. Look at the pageant headshots of your daughter...now look at her when she is peacefully sleeping after a day of playing outside? See ANY similarities? Didn't think so.

9. How do you compete in a newborn division? I didn't know there was a standard of "beauty" even before your cord dried up and fell off. My hat goes off to the mothers thou. At 6 weeks past birth I haven't showered or eaten yet. They already managed to create high expectations for their newborns.

10. Instead of all the time spent "rehearsing" for a unnatural, mechanical, fake routine...turn the music on and let her silly dance her own way, kiss her bare, naturally rosie cheeks and let her run naked in the sprinklers. Now, THAT is beautiful.

17 comments:

  1. I can only imagine how messed up these girls will be when they are 20.

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  2. omg - i totally agree. I can't believe they think this is normal!

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  3. I agree 100% all well most of the moms are, either fat, ugly, or doing this for their own pleasure. It makes me sick! I recored one episode. The one where the mom made the two piece and jacket, well at the begining of the songs she (the 7year old) strips the jacket off!!! WTH! and the dad though it was a little much but didn't stop the mom. PUSSY!!!!

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  4. ugh, that show and those parents make me sick! I just cant believe there is a bathing suit competition!! And the way they make those kids look....with all the makeup...I agree...there is definitely something sexually abusive about it all.

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  5. I watched an episode with this mom and her DD, they went for the natural look, she did (the mom) a "real girl" look, so sweet: no tan, no fake teeth, no glitter, just her beautiful daughter in a pretty dress, of course she didn't win, I think those people prize who ever spend the most, is sad. I will never put my girl under that pressure, they all say their kids LOVE IT and they wouldn't do it if they didn't but you see kids crying, refusing to get their hair done and they still make them do it, WTF! I truly think this is something for the parent, not for the LO. I cannot beleive any mom would teach her daugther to move her hips and shake her chest like that, plain sick!

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  6. Like #7, 8 and 10. I really feel sorry for the babies...look at their eyes..their lost, completely lost. It's worse than a cult (same brainwashing)...don't go there and tell me that a kid want to do this (yes sure at home maybe..play theather) but say : Hey mom pay me to go dancing on tv...sure
    Pray to god? I'm sure moral values to do this to babies / toddler is not even worth mention the name god.

    How to comprehend the incomprensible! Wake up.

    HappyMere

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  7. Just look at the picture of your babie ..you see the joy , the life in your eyes...the picture of the pageant eye are lost and cold.

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  8. You got number 5 wrong. I watched that episode too. The grand prize was $500.00. Does that make it better? Hehehe.

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  9. Child abuse? Here is the reason.

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  10. I'm watching that stupid show tight now and you guys forgeting the aditude those girls get. I think that is the worst part. They don't act like kids their age. But the moms need to stop trying to live through their kids!

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