TOP 10 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT YOUR FATHER, whoever he might be.:)

1. The way he loves you.

2. The way he smiles with his eyes alone.

3. His never-ending and overwhelming kindness.

4. The way he crosses his feet when he reads his paper.

5. His hands.

6. His quite, understated genius.

7. The way he lets me be a kid.

8. The way he laughs when both of us do something silly.

9. The way he casually does things around the house.

10. His old T-shirts and the way he smells.

TOP 10 THINGS MY DAUGHTER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BOYS.

1. They make the best childhood friends.
2. Later on they all want to sleep with you.
3. The best way to keep boy's attention is NOT to sleep with him too fast.
4. Boys are just as insecure as we are. Be gentle on their ego.
5. Decency makes a man out of a boy, not material things.
6. If the boy WANTS to call, he WILL.
7. Sense of humor will beat looks in the end.
8. You should WANT to be with him, not NEED.
9. Boys like to solve problems, not talk about them.
10. Don't nag or try to change the boy.

TOP 10 REASONS TO VOTE FOR ME TO GET "BEST PARENTING BLOG"

1. It will give me some much needed self esteem that I never got from my mother.
2. I am 6'2 and a girl. Imagine what high school was like for me.
3. I didn't kiss a boy until I was 18 and I tried daily.
4. People still refer to me as "sir" even when I breastfeeding.
5. I was raised in Russia which resulted in my first smile at the age of 7.
6. There is strong possibility I peed myself the other day when I laughed. Thank God I don't have that many reasons to laugh.
7. My own dog bites me...as I feed her.
8. My favorite pass time is imagining all the horrific ways I can die.
9. I often put myself to sleep by watching home shopping network on mute.
10. Because by me knowing NOTHING about parenting, I made you feel better about yourself.
10 1/2. Please click on the logo all the way on the bottom of this page. I have no idea how to position it anywhere else. Thank you!

TOP 10 WAYS TO SAVE MONEY ON A BABY

1. Try to restrain yourself from buying 832462 overly cute non practical outfits for your newborn. They will wear 2 of them. Really.
2. Take anything other mothers give you and thank them often.
3. Breasfeed If you can...or want to.
4. Thrift Stores. 80% of the time baby or kid clothes still has tags on them due to the #1 on my list and kids books are 50 cents a pop.
5. If you going back to work, look for a family center. They are smaller, cheaper and often so much better.
6. Write off that daycare on your taxes for a nice chunk of refund.
7. Pots and pans beat fancy toy any day.
8. Buy and sell on craigslist. You can get a $250 stroller for $70 and then sell it two years later for $50.
9. Ask your good friends to babysit for 3 hours once a month. 4 friends...you get the math. Invite them all for dinner to say "Thank you". Serve hot pockets.:)

9 1/2. www.diapers.com

9 3/4 http://ilikeitmama.com/

10. Love is free.

TOP 10 THINGS I LEARNT FROM BEING RAISED IN EUROPE

1. Belt is not there just to hold people's pants up.

2. Food choices are for people who pay for food. Kids eat what they are given.

3. Interrupting adult conversation can provide proof for #1 on my list.

4. Lack of toys creates imagination.

5. Bedtime is not negotiable, unless it's bar night.

6. Playing outside all day helps a child "sleep through the night".

7. Talking back at your parents can very possibly be your last words.

8. Unless you are unconscious or holding your brain in your hands, reporting home from outside is not necessary.

9. Tea, raspberry jam and vodka = Children's Tylenol.

10. No one should see their father in a speedo.

TOP 10 THINGS I DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND ABOUT PARENTING

1. Those flower hair-bands that they put on infants.

2. What is so brilliant about $900 Bugaboo stroller?

3. Why do we get 6 weeks paid maternity leave, when it's 1 year in Borat's Kazahstan?

4. Why am I still paying my hospital bill 9 months after perfectly healthy delivery?

5. Why do after-school programs end at 5pm, when we all work until at least 5:30?

6. What does my kid find sooo entertaining about 3am?

7. How come my daughter only wants to play with a trash can when there are 63824 toys laying within inches of her?

8. Why can I not find a restaurant with an attached daycare center room, so me and my husband can enjoy a nice meal (Chuckie E. Cheese does not count)?

9. How can a hot dog on kid's menu cost $9?

10. Who thought it was a great idea to make 100% Polyester baby sleepers, when I, as an adult wanted to kill myself every time I wore polyester?

10 1/2. Why do I only get to write 10 of these when I have 823746 questions?

TOP 10 WAYS TO CALM A CRYING BABY (colic or not). Please feel free to add!

1. Very tight swaddle in a great BIG blanket. I swear by Aden+Anais (see the picture). Go to http://www.adenandanais.com/

2. Take them outside for some fresh air.

3. Repeated monotone singing, ocean waves, rain sounds, heartbeat or repeated sound of your head banging against the wall.

4. Gripe water and/or Myson Drops.

5. Vodka and earplugs...for you.

6. Driving or walking with a sling with a swaddled kid in it.

7. Making everything that touches their skin 100% cotton.

8. Any kind of sucking.

9. Having a night nurse (Brad and Angelina style) and then removing yourself in the room #543 of your 3rd mansion. I am not hating. Brad, if you ever in town, let's have a playdate (I mean us):)

10. Swing! Swing! Swing!