1. You have to tolerate my obnoxious, self centered and overbearing personality.
2. You have to think that me and my kid are two of the coolest people that you have ever met. (See "self-centered" comment above)
3. You have to despise everything pink and princess like. (extra points if your daughter is wearing scull T-Shirt)
4. You have to have an ability to NOT talk about kids all the time (if you do thou, a healthy dose of sarcasm is welcomed).
5. You cannot be size 0 for then I will have to hate you.
6. Your kid will ideally be about 6 months older than mine so I can inherit all of his/her clothes and excuse my daughter's tantrums to her young age.
7. Your husband cannot be Johnny Depp or we will have problems. Sorry Vanessa Paradis, I know you came so close...
8. You will think nothing of downing a couple of drinks during our playdates while listening to some nice non kid tunes.
9. You cannot speak baby talk or sing any of the nursery rhymes in my presence.
10. Your facebook profile picture has to be yours and not your kid's.
Please apply in the comment section and stay tuned for tomorrow's "TOP 10 THINGS I PROMISE IF YOU CHOOSE ME TO BE YOUR 'MOM BFF".
good luck with your search. I'm afraid that I don't meet all 10 of those, I was really close. so disappointed.
ReplyDeleteSo close!
ReplyDelete#1: I can do that!
ReplyDelete#2: Ummm, can I be second coolest?
#3: I kinda like the pink shabby chic so that is a bummer but my daughter wears black all the time right down to her finger and toe nails. Does that make up for the pink?
#4: Oh, yes I can!!!!
#5: Check! I love chocolate and it is my favorite meal! Size 5 is ok?
#6: Children aged 8,15,16,18, & 21. Grandchild age 8 months!
#7: Ohhhhh bummer. My husband is very hot! At least to me. He has very sexy eyes.
#8: I'll bring the cooler, you supply the chocolate!
#9: Fine by me!
#10: Yup, that is me. Sorry for the scare!
So....now that my application is in, how long before you make a decision?
Have a great day!
Klay, I do like it when people take your application process seriously and I see you did just that. One more plus for you...massive child experience. Slight minus...you are too good at this top 10 thing.
ReplyDelete1. I like obnoxious and overbearing.....due to a child who wakes every 2 hours at 6 months my submissive side never comes out to play anymore....
ReplyDelete2. So long as we're the 3rd and 4th coolest I suppose that's ok
3. My son has taken a strange liking to pink flowers and all thinks sparkly, but hey, opposites attract and at least it shows I don't conform to gender stereotypes either...
4. I go back to work in 2 weeks....my kiddie chat will surely be replaced by something interetsing then...
5. I'm in England....our sizes are numbered 4 sizes bigger than yours....therefore even if we were struck by a faminie I could never be less than a 4
6. My kid is 6 months younger than yours but at least a year advanced in skill and size (please note my healthy dose of sarcasm whilst talking babies)
7. I'm not married
8. I'm so sleep deprived I seem drunk/hi most of the time so don't even need the drinks to enjoy non kiddie tunes or make it through a play date!
9. All stupid tunes sung to my son are entirely mine and my boyfriends creations and I am too ashamed to sing them in public
10. All me me me on a post baby night out wearing a silly hat!
I appreciate an English best friend is no more convenient than one in Canada but in the spirit of political correctness I feel all candidates should be considered on merit alone.
I speak french so I'm kind of like Vanessa euh..of course that doesn't get you closer to J.Depp
ReplyDeleteI love chocolate..I rarely drink (more for you see that's positive..didn't think of that hey?)
BBF (makes me think of the show of Paris Hilton..) you are too pink for me...sorry
Kids? of course I will talk about my child as he is the best of the world...don't listen to the other parent that says there's is best. My life is just that..I have no hobbie, no other interest than annoy you with the development of my little one. I can continue if you want..
Sarcasm..um you figure it out.
HappyMere
This is breaking my heart...How do I choose?:(
ReplyDelete